I get this question often.
I actually appreciate the worry that lies behind it. You don’t want my sense of worth in the losing battle of appearances.
I started pageantry as a junior in high school. I wasn’t exactly the glitz and glam girl, either. I was good at math and art and I had certainly never been in front of a crowd.
Every year, my high school elects one junior girl to represent them in a county-wide festival pageant, River Days. That girl would hold the coveted title of “Miss Minford” and get as close to celebrity status anyone could achieve while still living in little Muletown. Miss Minford competes for the title of Miss River Days against 12 other school district representatives. Sponsorships pour in, you’re sent all this free stuff, event invitations pile, people from all over training you in public speaking and poise… no one comes out the same. Seriously. Whoever she is ends the year with this glow I can’t explain. She’s sure of herself and she radiates polish. I looked at the past Miss Minfords and was always inspired to be more…
I had never considered that I could be a Miss Minford myself. I wasn’t enough of something. Something that I wasn’t sure of. The time came during my junior year where we had to elect a new Miss Minford, and this golden thought popped into my head “Wait, why not me again?”
I had never felt so nervous. Think about it! River Days is a big deal for Scioto County. My whole community and their mothers were waiting to see who she would be. The same community who had watched my entire childhood. I had my poor mom interview me every ten minutes to practice. I applied, interviewed, “campaigned” and pulled the seemingly unlikely win. You should have seen the look on my face when they announced my name.
Lots happened as I prepped for Miss River Days, but I’m set on giving the short version for now.
Anyway, I went on to win the title of Miss River Days and decided I would progress further to Miss Ohio via the Miss America system. Only one other Miss River Days made that leap. It’s hard to go from a festival pageant to something like Miss Ohio. Miss Ohio was a dreammmm.
To win Miss River Days, you had to compete for one day in a 7 minute interview, philanthropy or “platform” outreach, on-stage question, fitness (where you did a routine including two push-ups… imagine that in front of your whole school and neighboring districts), and evening gown. Other scholarships were awarded for highest academic achievement and volunteer hours.
To win the title of Miss Ohio, you must compete for three days in a 10 minute interview, a community service initiative, on-stage question, fitness (more of a model walk), talent, social media presence, and evening gown. Add in the political aspects… they can and will ask you anything! Miss Ohio is to be a beacon of hope in a politically polarized country.
I had to get my story straight. My team made that clear.
What am I good at? How can I bring that to the stage in a way people can experience it themselves?
What did I care about? Where do I want to see change in the world? How can I take initiative?
Who am I? What survives the hundreds of opinions swarming me?
It’s been this ironic fight to rest in those answers. You see, pageantry is really an authenticity competition. How much do you mean what you’re saying? Under all the lights and all the glam, the audience can tell how much you mean it in an instant. There is hardly any opportunity to hide. The whole nature of being a titleholder is accepting visibility.
This June will be my third time on the Miss Ohio stage. I have made a promise to myself this time around. I will leave this organization, this process, this “hobby” more genuine than when I first found it. What will be left will be me in a more pure form. Set free. Called higher. Refined.
Does any of that have to do with how pretty I am?
You’re right to point out the makeup we tend to put on and the high hair and the disco ball dresses…
But what you see on stage is only a snippet of life as a titleholder. That’s one day, one moment of a whole year’s job. Perhaps pageantry used to be all about looks… perhaps other systems are all about your appearances… I don’t know. I wasn’t there.
Let’s face it. Everywhere you go, your appearance makes an impression. We can’t escape that. So there is some of that in pageantry. We, like everyone else, cannot completely escape it.
But no, in my experience, pageantry has never been about the way I look for others more than any other part of my life. It’s about how I feel about myself, how I tell my story and listen to the stories of the people I represent, and how I use those feelings and stories to change the world around me.
The “more” I was looking for was me, not beauty. Pageantry inspires me to step deeper into who I already am.
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